Welcome to SPLATTER

Your home for tasteful cinema

This page is dedicated to celebrating the best and worst trash tapes mankind has ever produced. Here at SPLATTER we celebrate the goopy, the gore-y, the silly, the indedent, the outsiders, and most of all the fun side of film. Every movie is shown due respect, the worst trash is often the most creatively daring and requires the most from the creators. Maybe anyone can pick up a camera, a camcorder, or a phone and make a movie, but not everyone does. SPLATTER celebrates those darring enough to create.

This site is a one person project and will be a slow work in progress. Overtime as it is built out you will be able to navigate to the following sections:

• ABOUT - Learn a bit more about the page.
• LISTS - Where I organize film reviews into lists if you are exploring for something in particular.
• GEMS - These are just lessor known movies. I include films here that have fewer than 50k Letterboxd views at the time of writing.
• ULTRA-GEMS - These are even lessor known. They have fewer 10k letterboxd views at the time of writing.

You can also just scroll down and see my essays in chronological order.

Hell of the Living Dead (1980) Dir. Bruno Mattei (aka Vincent Dawn)

"You're all... doomed to a horrible death. Doomed to be eaten up. First, they'll kill you... then afterwards... you'll be eaten... be eaten... devoured... by men like you... your brothers..."

Initially I got this movie for two very understandable reasons. A used copy of the Severin 4k UHD was pretty cheap at a store I was at and it is a blatant DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) rip off directed by someone who had the temerity and sense of humor to use the pseudonym "Vincent Dawn." So sure, why not give the 1980 Italian film HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD (aka NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES) (1980) a try?

I later found out that Vincent Dawn was Bruno Mattei who made a career at the tail end of eurotrash cinema viability by making unofficial sequals. CRUEL JAWS (1995) is about a killer shark. SHOCKING DARK (1989) is about a terminator. NIGHT KILLER (1990) is about a dream haunting killer with claws who is definitely *not* Freddy Krueger. So for me to stumble on this cinematic genius's DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) sequel (maybe prequel?) is can't miss stuff.

When this sucker started up and I saw that Goblin, whose DEEP RED (1975) score may be my favorite in film history, scored this movie I knew I was in for a treat. Well scored is generous. It's more like they took Goblin songs from other better films but taking stuff from better films is just a part of their creative process! Regardless, Goblin sounds great as always.

Let me be realistic. The effects look cheap, but are mostly fun enough. The acting is bad, but you weren't here for the acting were you? The plot spins its wheels for 30 minutes in the middle. The film bafflingly pads its run time, which is about 10 minutes too long, with 6 minutes of stock footage mostly of random animals. And yet, behind all the early 80s eurotrash, there is a film trying to say something that is fairly entertaining and sounds good some of the time (Oh Goblin, my Goblin).

This one opens at some kind of nuclear or chemical facility where a guy gets bitten by a radioactive rat and becomes a zombie. An aside, I was unsurprised to learn that director Bruno Mattei (aka Vincent Dawn)'s next most well known film is RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR (1984). This guy has a thing for rat-pacolypses.

The movie moves on from here where we see your friendly neighborhood American black ops strike squad slaughter a group of eco-terrorist who apparently are guilty of using violent means to try to stop the apocalypse. In true blue amber waves of grain American fashion the strike squad shoots first and doesn't ask questions later.

Meanwhile, they can't reach the chemical plant in Papua New Guinea which makes the strike force think the terrorists hit there too, but we the audience know it is because they are zombies. Dramatic irony!

On their way there they meet a reporter who discovers the zombies when a zombie kid played by a child actor who truly has an all-time stinker face (see picture) turns cannibalistic. Oh well.

This is euro trash cinema so of course the reporter has to get naked to fit in with the local Papau New Guinea tribe. This is an especially dumb moment even in the annals of eurosleaze as you watch a professional reporter strip naked except for a cheap miniskirt made of leaves. Then she dances with a tribe and gets body paint in some ritual. None of this is relevant to the movie, but Italian horror directors from this era understood that like 40% of their paying customers were proto-gooners.

After that nonsense we get into the meat of the Zombie hijinks. People get eaten. They learn they need to shoot them in the head. A cat jumps out of the stomach of an undead granny. They forgot to shoot them in the head over and over. A guy uses a playground slide. Exactly one zombie gets set on fire. Etc...

They do eventually make it to the chemical plant. The journalist learns that Hope's chemical facility was trying to solve overpopulation by making zombies to eat the developing world. And now they are the zombies. This is more dramatic irony. The zombies then get the reporter who just *had* to see what was going on. They kill her by pushing her eyes out of her face from the inside of her head. This is dramatic irony too I assume. I'm not sure I know what dramatic irony is. But it was dramatic. Probably the best effect of the movie, though competition isn't exactly fierce here.

The movie ends with a white couple on a date somewhere in America seeing a zombie, they get eaten by said zombie and then we see the town getting overrun with zombies. Take that Neo-Malthusians. Ultimately this movie is about foucault's boomerang. Whatever fascist evil you impose on the colonized world will boomerang back onto you. Even, no, especially, when that evil is the zombie virus. We love a movie with a message!